Balancing the Acts of Working and Spending Quality Time With Your Child
One of the worst things that could happen to a parent is not getting along with their child. That is one of my greatest fears because I grew up not really getting along well with my mother. One of the reasons may be she spent more time working than having quality time with me and my siblings. I do understand that “money makes the world go round” and my parents needed to work so they could give us the best future they can afford, but, it also gave us no time to be “closer”. And that is something that we, admittedly, regret now that I’m all grown up and with a kid of my own. I know that a lot of parents are in the same boat and working is a reality of life that we cannot afford to take for granted. Having said that, I would like to offer some tips on how to “balance” work with having time with your child so as not to sacrifice your relationship with them.
1. As much as possible, don’t bring your work at home. There is a time for work, that’s why there is an “office” and a time for family. When at home, spend quality time with your child. Quality time can be as short as 30 minutes as long as what you’re doing is something that your child loves. If the only time that you can give is during his bedtime, then read to your kid his/her favorite book. During your off, do something that your child is interested in. An hour of biking, going to the park, swimming, playing ball. If you’re not able to go out, then watch his favorite movie with your child, cook his favorite dish or sleep in your child’s room when possible. These things are so easy to do, doesn’t really require much time and effort but will definitely “make a mark” in your child’s mind and heart.
2. As parents, we tend to have this “thinking” that we’re “always right” and that they should “always listen… just listen”. When I became a parent, this is one of the things that I promised myself I am going to do for my child… LISTEN! Just because they are “just kids” doesn’t mean that they have no feelings and have no mind of their own. When they are speaking, don’t interrupt. Try to understand where their feelings (happiness, anger, fear, etc) are coming from. That way, you will know how to deal with it. Always remember this, their words are just as important as yours. As early as possible, show your child that you are willing to listen to whatever it is that they want to say and what they’re feeling. This will make them feel loved and respected. More than anything, this is all about respect! Not only will you build a “respectful’ relationship with your child, you will also teach them to respect other people, as well, when they grow up.
3. Hug and kiss your child as much as you can. These acts of affection lets your child know that he is loved and it doesn’t matter if you only get to spend an hour together because you need to go to work, your child will know love is not “lacking” in your relationship. I hug and kiss my son, BON, every time the opportunity arises and especially before sleeping so that he’d go to sleep feeling loved and upon waking up so that he’ll wake up feeling loved. More important than hugging and kissing, always tell your child “I LOVE YOU!” Not only will this bring you closer together, It will definitely bring a positive outlook for your child which would help him in dealing with other people.
“You only THOUGHT you knew about love until you hold your own child” – Whatever life I had before my son Lee Carmelo (Bon to family and friends) came along was nothing compared to the life I have now. Honestly, I occasionally miss the freedom and independence, but I would never trade my life now for it. I love Bon so much! He is my heart… my soul… my life… my world!
Great things about having my Lee Carmelo Dilay Ballesteros:
- Having a tickle-fest!
- Getting a goodnight, good morning and even-if-there-is-no-reason kiss
- Hearing him laugh even at my corniest jokes.
- Getting swept up in his excitement.
- Seeing the world anew through his eyes.
- Having him crawl on my lap when he’s scared.
- Hearing him saying, “I Love You, Mama…I Love You So Much, Mama”
- Seeing how adorable he looks in his new clothes.
- Kissing his little (even if it’s dirty and stinky…lol!) feet.
- Listening to him sing his favorite songs.
- Blowing kisses from the car as I leave.
- Seeing his beautiful smile.
- Melting when he makes me feel really good about myself.
- Having my eyes fill with tears because I love him so much!
Thank you so much Bon for teaching me how to love selflessly and live in the moment. You don’t know how much happiness you bring in my life everyday… I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I HOPE YOU FEEL THAT LOVE THROUGH MY HUGS and KISSES!
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